some thoughts

well... this has gotta be the first time that i'm actually treating this blog as a blog....


mid sem break.. time to slow down.. time to think through.. time to catch up..


didn't really thought about much stuffs through the chinese new year break.. was quite sick the past few days.. didn't have much energy to do anything.. and it was a great excuse to be laid back... and not do anything...


somehow.. started reflecting abit today... realised that i'm being put on the crossroads....


decisions to make...


one that will affect the next 1 year of my life.....


another that will probably affect my research focus...

yea.. realised that i hate making decisions....

why...?

i guess.. i've always live life with the "never do anything that u'll regret" kinda attitude...

wouldn't say that it works all the time...

i have lotsa regrets in my life...

but i guess the fear of making decisions stems from this fear of regretting the choice in future...

and at this time when i need God the most.. i find myself running away from Him.. i dunno why..

sometimes.. i just feel like shutting out everyone.. everything...

let's talk about my honours year project...

i guess i know what i want.... but there's this fear that i've gotta conquer...

and i hate facing such fears....

i think i have alot of fears... be it physical or mental kind...

i would love to shout out loud...

"I WILL CONQUER MY FEAR!"

but... words are just mere words...

easy to blurt out...

action is the one that counts...

a lot of fears...

i remember what JA said about me ...

"someone who has taught me what it means to pursue dreams"

or something like that...

i always wondered what i ever did to make him say that.....

i guess.. it feels much better being able to type all these out...

i dunno who's reading all these...

but i feel somewhat relieved blurting all these out

as if a knot has been untied in my throat...

我依然相信。。。。

最美的愿望一定最疯狂。。。