My thoughts and reflections
Two weeks ago.. i asked God two questions...
1. Is it right for me to have my own dreams..?
2. What does it mean to be satisfied by God alone?
i struggled for the past two weeks with God.. kept pondering whether it was right for me to have my own dreams.. things i wanna do.. a dream lifestyle that i wanna have and all... at some point of time.. i decided that it wasn't right for me to have such dreams.. coz that would mean that i'm trying to take charge of my life .. taking things and making decisions that will allow me to achieve my dreams.. and putting God out of my life.... it was a struggle .. really.. and at that point of time.. i wanted so much to just shut everything out.. i didn't wanna think about this issue anymore... but God pursued me...
been reading this book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge.. got it as a gift from Mengjet and Esther last year.. as i neared the end of the book.. God answered my question...
here's an excerpt
What is written on your heart?
As I said earlier, the invitations of Jesus come to us in many ways. Sometimes they come through circumstance, an opportunity that opens before us. Sometimes they come through other people who see something in us that we may not yet see, and they invite us to step forth in some way. But God's invitations ultimately are matters of the heart. They come through our passions , those desires set deep within us. What is it you yearn to see happen - how do you long for the world to be a better place? What makes you so angry you nearly see red? What brings you to tears?
You will find that as God restores your heart and sets you free, you will recover long lost passions, long forsaken dreams. You'll find yourself drawn to some vision for making the world a better place. Those emerging desires are invitations - not to rush out and attempt them immediately. That also is naive. They are invitations to bring your heart to your Lover(Jesus) and ask him to clarify, to deepen, to speak to you about how and when and with whom....
After reading this.. i realised that God isn't someone who doesn't care about my dreams and my emotions.. He cares.. and the passions that He gave me are for a reason....
For the past two Saturdays.. Auntie Cecilia came down to share with us on the theme of Choices Deeds and Consequences.. i didn't really think much about it.. i thought i knew how to make proper choices.. basically.. i went with the just go and listen for additional information kinda attitude.. not expecting anything great....
She shared on two Bible characters.. Joseph and Daniel...
In Genesis 37, Joseph was given two dreams from God.. just two dreams.. two dreams that seem so impossible and absurd even.. given all that he went through for the next few years of his life... but through it all, Joseph held on to the dreams that God gave him and never wavered.. and as we all know.. the dreams came through.. after many many many years... after years of hardship and trials...
In the book of Daniel, Daniel and his four friends did right in the eyes of the Lord, and He affirmed them by granting them favour in the eyes of the steward in charge of them.
it wasn't until a few hours ago.. when i refused to read those journal articles on my bus trips that i started thinking .. reflecting and talking to God about my dreams again...
as i reflected back... i realised that God has been affirming my dreams... =)
ok.. in a way.. i dun really know what exactly my dreams are.. but i know that i wanna work with animals.. they really bring me alot of joy.. just looking at them... and i always wondered if God would grant me this dream since i cannot picture how working with animals would bring Him glory.. as compared to say being a missionary.. social worker and all...
and i guess it was precisely because of such thinking that i've always believed that God will NEVER grant me my dreams.....
but hey.. apparently.. this isn't so...
Entry into NUS (instead of Melbourne Uni) .. made me realised that my real interest isn't that much of stitching up animals.. cleaning their wounds.. vaccinating them .. etc.. He closed the door for Melbourne Uni and Vet science... and gave me Life Science in NUS instead... mind you.. He kept that door closed 3 times in 3 years... -bleahs-
Taking LSM 1103 Biodiversity made me fall in love with Biology... and i decided to change my concentration from Biomedical Sciences to Biology...
Working on UROPS.. "visitors effect on zoo animals" made me realised that i'm interested in how animals behave.... UROPS oral exam made me realised the existence of A/P Li Daiqin.. who specialises in Animal Behaviour ....
And lastly.. my final year project... a gift from God..
He closed the door for working with Dr. Peter Todd... animal and environment interaction...
out of the many people who approached A/P Li for honours project... i managed to get it..
even though i met up with him only 1 week after the exams, when many others had met up with him already...
even though i went into his office that day.. totally unprepared, having no idea what project i wanna proposed..
even though i didn't read up on the many articles that i was suppose to read up on...
and in the midst of my 'anyhow whack a project' he actually got interested in one of them....
do you see God's hand on all of these???
i didn't at first...
but i do now....
and such a revelation just takes my breath away... how amazing.. how sweet... how comforting... it is to know that God has been affirming my interest all these while.. how He led me onto the correct path without me even realising it....
and i guess like what Zhehao said yesterday during our group sharing.. "when you know that God gives you to green light to go ahead.. you can be assured and you'll have peace in your heart.. no matter what situations may come... "
yes.. i have peace... and full of excitement.. ! =)
"Lord, i offer my life"
it's a song that i love and hate at the same time...
that's why i wasn't very erms happy(?).. (dun reallie know what word to use to describe my feelings lah..) when i saw that it was one of the songs for singspiration yesterday.. i didn't wanna sing that song at all...
"wishes and dreams that are yet to come through" all to be offered and surrendered into the hands of God...
i didn't want to.. coz i dun want my dreams to be taken away...
but now.. finally.. i can sing this song with joy.. with thanksgiving... because i know and i trust that the dream that God has for me.. for my life is bigger.. greater... much more fulfilling than the dream that i have for myself.. that's He cares about my passions too.... =)
i know alot of uncertainties lies ahead of me.. but hey.. that's why i need to continue to cling on to God... and trust in His faithfulness and His plan for my life! =)
Thank You God... ! ! ! !
=) =) =) =) =)
1. Is it right for me to have my own dreams..?
2. What does it mean to be satisfied by God alone?
i struggled for the past two weeks with God.. kept pondering whether it was right for me to have my own dreams.. things i wanna do.. a dream lifestyle that i wanna have and all... at some point of time.. i decided that it wasn't right for me to have such dreams.. coz that would mean that i'm trying to take charge of my life .. taking things and making decisions that will allow me to achieve my dreams.. and putting God out of my life.... it was a struggle .. really.. and at that point of time.. i wanted so much to just shut everything out.. i didn't wanna think about this issue anymore... but God pursued me...
been reading this book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge.. got it as a gift from Mengjet and Esther last year.. as i neared the end of the book.. God answered my question...
here's an excerpt
What is written on your heart?
As I said earlier, the invitations of Jesus come to us in many ways. Sometimes they come through circumstance, an opportunity that opens before us. Sometimes they come through other people who see something in us that we may not yet see, and they invite us to step forth in some way. But God's invitations ultimately are matters of the heart. They come through our passions , those desires set deep within us. What is it you yearn to see happen - how do you long for the world to be a better place? What makes you so angry you nearly see red? What brings you to tears?
You will find that as God restores your heart and sets you free, you will recover long lost passions, long forsaken dreams. You'll find yourself drawn to some vision for making the world a better place. Those emerging desires are invitations - not to rush out and attempt them immediately. That also is naive. They are invitations to bring your heart to your Lover(Jesus) and ask him to clarify, to deepen, to speak to you about how and when and with whom....
After reading this.. i realised that God isn't someone who doesn't care about my dreams and my emotions.. He cares.. and the passions that He gave me are for a reason....
For the past two Saturdays.. Auntie Cecilia came down to share with us on the theme of Choices Deeds and Consequences.. i didn't really think much about it.. i thought i knew how to make proper choices.. basically.. i went with the just go and listen for additional information kinda attitude.. not expecting anything great....
She shared on two Bible characters.. Joseph and Daniel...
In Genesis 37, Joseph was given two dreams from God.. just two dreams.. two dreams that seem so impossible and absurd even.. given all that he went through for the next few years of his life... but through it all, Joseph held on to the dreams that God gave him and never wavered.. and as we all know.. the dreams came through.. after many many many years... after years of hardship and trials...
In the book of Daniel, Daniel and his four friends did right in the eyes of the Lord, and He affirmed them by granting them favour in the eyes of the steward in charge of them.
it wasn't until a few hours ago.. when i refused to read those journal articles on my bus trips that i started thinking .. reflecting and talking to God about my dreams again...
as i reflected back... i realised that God has been affirming my dreams... =)
ok.. in a way.. i dun really know what exactly my dreams are.. but i know that i wanna work with animals.. they really bring me alot of joy.. just looking at them... and i always wondered if God would grant me this dream since i cannot picture how working with animals would bring Him glory.. as compared to say being a missionary.. social worker and all...
and i guess it was precisely because of such thinking that i've always believed that God will NEVER grant me my dreams.....
but hey.. apparently.. this isn't so...
Entry into NUS (instead of Melbourne Uni) .. made me realised that my real interest isn't that much of stitching up animals.. cleaning their wounds.. vaccinating them .. etc.. He closed the door for Melbourne Uni and Vet science... and gave me Life Science in NUS instead... mind you.. He kept that door closed 3 times in 3 years... -bleahs-
Taking LSM 1103 Biodiversity made me fall in love with Biology... and i decided to change my concentration from Biomedical Sciences to Biology...
Working on UROPS.. "visitors effect on zoo animals" made me realised that i'm interested in how animals behave.... UROPS oral exam made me realised the existence of A/P Li Daiqin.. who specialises in Animal Behaviour ....
And lastly.. my final year project... a gift from God..
He closed the door for working with Dr. Peter Todd... animal and environment interaction...
out of the many people who approached A/P Li for honours project... i managed to get it..
even though i met up with him only 1 week after the exams, when many others had met up with him already...
even though i went into his office that day.. totally unprepared, having no idea what project i wanna proposed..
even though i didn't read up on the many articles that i was suppose to read up on...
and in the midst of my 'anyhow whack a project' he actually got interested in one of them....
do you see God's hand on all of these???
i didn't at first...
but i do now....
and such a revelation just takes my breath away... how amazing.. how sweet... how comforting... it is to know that God has been affirming my interest all these while.. how He led me onto the correct path without me even realising it....
and i guess like what Zhehao said yesterday during our group sharing.. "when you know that God gives you to green light to go ahead.. you can be assured and you'll have peace in your heart.. no matter what situations may come... "
yes.. i have peace... and full of excitement.. ! =)
"Lord, i offer my life"
it's a song that i love and hate at the same time...
that's why i wasn't very erms happy(?).. (dun reallie know what word to use to describe my feelings lah..) when i saw that it was one of the songs for singspiration yesterday.. i didn't wanna sing that song at all...
"wishes and dreams that are yet to come through" all to be offered and surrendered into the hands of God...
i didn't want to.. coz i dun want my dreams to be taken away...
but now.. finally.. i can sing this song with joy.. with thanksgiving... because i know and i trust that the dream that God has for me.. for my life is bigger.. greater... much more fulfilling than the dream that i have for myself.. that's He cares about my passions too.... =)
i know alot of uncertainties lies ahead of me.. but hey.. that's why i need to continue to cling on to God... and trust in His faithfulness and His plan for my life! =)
Thank You God... ! ! ! !
=) =) =) =) =)
posted by P i n G @ 3:17 PM
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